The Middle Ground
by Lai Jun Chen
Summary: Allen Walker is stuck in the middle. The middle of the Exorcists and Noah, the Akuma and the Humans. And Allen finally snaps. Very vague Tyki/Allen. Not so great summary. Sort of a song fic but not really inspired by Capital G, by Nine Inch Nails.
1. Introducing Allen

**The Middle Ground.**

This is a multi-chapter song fic based on the song Capital G, by Nine Inch Nails. The story is a little AU and is centered around Allen Walker. It is supposed to turn into, perhaps, at least vague romance with Tyki at the end, but I'm having issues with transitioning into something romantic. So any help in later chapters is welcome. Ideas for a new title and all other fic ideas are also welcome. Thank you.

I do not, unfortunately, own -Man, nor do I own the song Capital G.

_**Allen Walker**_

I push the button and elected him to office (and uh),

He pushed the button and he dropped the bomb.

You push the button and can watch it on the television,

Those mother fuckers didn't last too long.

Allen Walker. Exorcist. Moyashi. Destroyer of Time. Savior. The 14th. The Clown of God. The Musician of Noah.

Allen Walker was a sixteen year old _boy_ whose life was filled with hatred, abuse, and abandonment. Abandoned and abused because of his disfigured arm. Shunned and hated because of his hair color. Traumatized by his teacher. And always left behind.

This was the _child_ chosen by God to save the world. Allen had certainly _not_ chosen to be a savior. Not exactly. Rather, he'd been mentally and emotionally scarred and then guilt-tripped into the role. (Paying for _one._ _little. sin_ for all eternity.)

Despite his tragic past Allen was eternally loving and forgiving. And despite these characteristics he was certainly not as naive as people seemed to think. He was neither blind nor stupid. It was more that he willfully ignored the ugly things in his world. Love, fight, forgive, repeat. Endlessly. If he ever stopped he would have to face reality.

I'm sick of hearing of the have's and the have-nots,

Have some personal accountability.

The biggest problem with the way that we've been doing things is

The more we let you have the less that I'll be keeping for me.

Allen would have to face the fact that the organization and many of the people he fought for were as corrupt as the Earl and the Akuma. At least the Akuma had not wittingly become monsters, had not knowingly committed to evil.

When Allen realized that he was assisting evil men, men who committed atrocities in the name of righteousness, he began to wonder why he chose to continue on their path. After all, most of his superiors wouldn't even take responsibility for the deaths they caused. They had no sense of personal accountability. When they knowingly sent Exorcists on suicide missions it wasn't wrong, it wasn't _murder_. It was _only_ an Exorcist's _job_ to be the Church's soldiers, to obey orders, to give everything, even their lives, to the cause. They were expendable. They were the Order's most necessary commodity yet they were, perhaps, the least cared for and most frequently sacrificed. _Why _should he stay?

Allen was the only one who saw the Akuma for what they really were, the only one willing to see what they were: sad, lonely souls who had been conned into slavery by a devil in disguise. They were souls who had been preyed upon during a time of weakness. These souls had not knowingly become murderers as the Order had when they'd forced Innocence into incompatible people. The Order -the Church, didn't see this as wrong, but as something necessary for the war, for the _tiniest _possibility of gaining new soldiers for their war- more canon fodder. It was done for God, for His army, so it was all right. _Why _was he staying?

All of this was done in the name of everything that was _supposed_ to be Holy. These _things_, these _crimes_ were done in the name of God and if their god truly approved of all of this then Allen never wanted to know their god. He had no idea why he was staying.

All Allen could see of his side, of the Order- the Church- was a collection of corrupt fools who took no responsibility for their actions, blaming it on necessity, on the war, the Noah. Blaming anyone else they felt like for the evils of the world, evils they created. Always assuming their god would forgive every misdeed, every murder if it was done 'in His name.' And the more of himself he gave them to fight this war the less of himself he recognized, ever less of himself was he able to hold onto. They preached and demanded goodness and self-sacrifice -_perfection_- of others, but never bothered with it themselves. Thus, good, self-sacrificing, _saintly_ Allen Walker began to slip away... from himself most of all.

Well I used to stand for something,

Now I'm on my hands and knees.

Trading in my god for this one,

And he signs his name with a capital G.

Allen Walker was the Order's personal mascot. To most of the Exorcists he stood for everything they fought for. At first, while terribly embarrassed and confused as to why people would think of him that way, he was simply glad to, in some odd way, be of help to others. He just wanted to help...

All of that seemed like so long ago. So much fighting, so much change -for the better, for the worst. But it had been their expectations alone that had brought him to his hands and knees. Fight, save, support, repeat. Endlessly.

Certainly, finding out that the Noah were human (regardless of their evil) and that he'd be expected to kill them -kill humans of any sort- was not helping. Neither was the new existence of the Third Exorcists. Sins given human form. More grief. More guilt. That seemed his only reward in this war. The god they said he fought for, whose very existence he _seriously_ doubted, appeared intent on drowning his 'favorite' apostle in guilt. This _god_ of theirs seemed to think that guilt served well as both motivation and prize. Allen almost wished he believed in the idea of a god now. At least then he could trade for a new one that brought him something other than pain.


	2. Aspects of Tyki

Here is chapter two and we introduce Tyki Mikk. Thanks for all reviews so far. Please send suggestions for endings. Enjoy!

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_**Tyki Mikk**_

Don't give a shit about the temperature in Guatemala,

Don't really see what all the fuss is about.

Ain't going to worry about no future generations,

I'm sure somebody's going to figure it out.

Tyki Mikk. Marquis Mikk. Tyki-pon. The 3rd. The Noah of Pleasure. Human. White. Assassin. Black.

These were the aspects of the life of Tyki Mikk, but in the end he really didn't care about much of it. He didn't really care about much of anything, actually. He didn't hate the world, not _all_ of it, but the idea of the destruction of humanity was simply _thrilling_. The fighting, the blood, the new world that would rise from the result of this war were irresistible. The 3rd couldn't figure out what all the fuss over human beings was about, anyhow. _Humans_ were destroying themselves and their world quite well even without the help of the Akuma and the Noah. They lived --created and destroyed- as if there weren't to be any future generations. Suffice to say, there was very little that the Noah of Pleasure took any _pleasure_ in, very little of the current world that he wished to hold onto. He rather liked his human friends, but even they were not something he'd _necessarily_ keep.

Allen Walker. For the love of everything unholy he wanted Allen Walker. He wanted to keep Allen forever. The white-haired young man was one of the only things of the present, or future, that Tyki cared about. There had always been something about the Exorcist that he loved. He couldn't quite describe _what_ it was about Allen, most of it was vague, but he didn't care to question it fully either. He was the Noah of Pleasure: he simply liked what he liked and did as he pleased. Besides, everyone liked Allen. (Tyki was fairly certain that even the Earl had a sort-of soft spot for the cursed teen.)

Don't try to tell me how some power can corrupt a person,

You haven't had enough to know what it's like.

You're only angry because you wish were in my position,

Now nod your head because you know that I'm right (all right).

Part of the reason everyone liked Allen was that he was idealistic and fought relentlessly for his ideals, to see them become reality. Allen Walker's ideals could rival those of the Buddha, of any angel or saint, of any humanitarian and empathetic deity in history. Allen was the incarnation of goodness and if it were possible, even the Akuma would come to like him. (Now that he thought about it, he guessed they sort of did, since he 'saved' them.) This was certainly one of the reasons _he_ liked Allen.

Tyki had learned of the harsh inquisition Allen was facing at the Order because of the 14th. Those who knew the Exorcist well enough, who understood him even only a _little_, would know that Allen Walker could never betray his mission, his ideals: save the Akuma, save the humans, save the world. Allen Walker was incorruptible. The cursed teen was one of the most powerful beings on the planet, incapable of treachery or corruption, yet facing accusations of _heresy _and the possibility of execution. And _seemingly_ unfazed by it all. His power never tempted him to anything beyond his own goals. Even as his power grew beyond what anyone thought possible, as either an Exorcist or a Noah, he kept fighting -not for the Order, or God, or anything else- for his own ideals. Ideals that not even the Dark Order's 'God' could ever _hope_ to live up to.

Tyki continued to follow Allen's biased trial (if one could even call it a trial). All that he could come up with to explain the Order's behavior towards their best and most loyal Exorcist was fear. They both feared and coveted his power. They desired his power to fight the Earl. They feared his power because he was capable of fighting the Earl. They feared that they could no longer control him. They feared that saintly, angelic Allen Walker, Exorcist and Noah, would turn on them.

What was truly incomprehensible was why they thought power was automatically evil. Why did they think that the 14th would corrupt their Allen, make him 'evil,' turn him to the Noah? After all, the previous 14th had chosen to turn against his fellows and help the Exorcists. Therefore, it was logical to assume that even being a Noah, one was given a chance to choose their path, their side in the war. Apparently, the Order was not very logical. Furthermore, if their god was all-powerful then why was he not evil? Tyki could not understand how they could hate Allen simply because he had potential, the ability to fight, the power to win their war for them. Again, all Tyki could come up with to answer this quandary was fear. Fear and jealousy. From what he could see, he was pretty sure that Allen would have willingly given them his power if it meant he could have a bit of _peace_, if he could just be a slightly more normal teenager.

Tyki knew that Allen saw and understood everything he did. He'd once asked the boy why he put up with the bigots from the Order. Allen had only frowned and looked away, unwilling or unable to answer. Tyki pressed onward.

"Why should you be faulted for the way you were _born_, Shonen?" Allen stayed silent.

"If they have faith in their god, and their god creates all, then you, Allen Walker, Exorcist _and_ Noah, are a creation of their own god. Yes?" Allen looked at Tyki now, with suspicion and anger, but still said nothing.

"Yes, of course you are. And who are they to question the creations of their omnipotent, omniscient 'God?'" Tyki simply smiled at the wary, silent Exorcist and disappeared. Let Allen have some time to think on what he'd said. He was a bright young man, after all. He'd figure it out, if he didn't already know. Besides Tyki needed a nap. He'd made his head hurt from all the theological thoughts and the excessive logic.

---PLease review and tell me what you think of this chapter.

~Lai Jun Chen


	3. The Martyr

_**Allen Walker**_

Well I used to stand for something,

But forgot what that could be.

There's a lot of me inside you,

Maybe you're afraid to see.

Allen Walker stood for everything the Dark Order, the Vatican, and their god could only dream of being. They seemed to have forgotten they were supposed to be the saviors of mankind, not sacrificing them to doomed missions and hopeless experiments with Innocence. They seemed to have forgotten that they were supposed to be saving humanity from the Akuma, not turning their followers _into _Akuma.

It was, likely, their greatest sin -the Second and Third Exorcists. However, turning humans into partial Akuma wasn't wrong in their eyes. Making a human partially into a creature that was tortured, miserable, and in constant agony as an enslaved soul was somehow justifiable to the Dark Religious Order. All Allen could think was; 'What happened to the human's soul?' 'What happened to the Akuma's soul?' How could this be in any way _right_ or _justifiable_?

It wasn't, and they knew it. They had become as bad as their enemy. But they were too afraid to admit to what they now saw in the mirror. It was as if their was a little bit of the Earl in each of the people responsible for the creation of the Second and Third Exorcists. No one wished to see themselves in such a way so they, again, cast blame everywhere else; the Earl, the Noah, the Akuma, even Allen himself. Allen felt as if the Earl had already taken over the world. It was just that no one else realized it yet.

Well I used to stand for something,

Now I'm on my hands and knees.

Trading in my god for this one,

And he signs his name with a capital G.

With this the Order brought Allen to his hands and knees for the last time. He couldn't continue to be irrationally optimistic and smile in spite of _everything_. He could no longer fight for an organization he loathed. He couldn't fight for an organization that preached salvation, but cared nothing for the death it caused or the sins they mired themsleves in. And he couldn't keep fighting for a god he didn't believe in. The young Exorcist lacked the energy to even pretend to believe in their god any more. He wasn't trading gods as he'd never believed in one to begin with and he wouldn't start now. He couldn't. He was simply leaving the side that required he be a symbol, their warrior, while simultaneously branding him a traitor. He refused to be used until he broke and then lead to the gallows. Mascot. Martyr. Scapegoat.


	4. Look Like Us

_**Tyki Mikk**_

Well I used to stand for something,

But forgot what that could be.

There's a lot of me inside you,

Maybe you're afraid to see.

Tyki could see Allen braking as few others could. Every time they battled the cursed Exorcist was a little less fierce. Everyone has a 'braking point' and the Noah of Pleasure was very pleased to witness Allen snap. Tyki didn't quite understand the circumstances (nor did he particularly care) -something about what happened to the Third Exorcists once they were useless. It probably didn't help that one of the Third Exorcists thought that the suffering of the Akuma was 'amusing.' Suffice to say, Allen's reaction was not positive, at least, not for the Order.

He and Road had been sent to God only knew where to kill the Third Exorcists. Not half way through their battle they were convinced that their favorite Exorcist had gone mad. Allen Walker killed his Third Exorcist companion after he'd killed his injured fellow experiment. The two Noah were surprised, but curious, as well as cautious. Allen was not just their favorite, but perhaps the biggest threat to their existence. And it seemed that said snowy-haired Exorcist had just declared war on the Dark Religious Order.

Road dashed forward to tackle Allen in a hug, only to freeze in her tracks once she was nearly there. Tyki had started forward with Road. They couldn't wait to have the boy on their side.

"Why thank you, Shonen. You've done all the-" Tyki froze next to Road, not two feet from their beloved Allen. What was wrong with their dearest Allen? He... He looked like... like _them_.

**_Allen Walker_**

Well I used to stand for something,

Now I'm on my hands and knees.

Trading in my god for this one,

And he signs his name with a capital G.

He couldn't believe he'd just killed his comrade. But he had. And he certainly didn't feel sorry for it. The Third Exorcists were half Akuma. Allen couldn't ignore the ingrained instinct to kill them. He couldn't ignore the crying, the pleas for freedom from the trapt souls they possessed or the evil, swirling aura's and killer, murderous intent they radiated. And he couldn't ignore their sins any longer. He collapsed on the ground.

"They're going to kill me. Execute me. Traitor. Heretic. Murderer. Judas," he said to the sky that he blankly gazed at.

It wasn't until the last minute that he remembered that Road and Tyki were still present. He'd forgotten about them until they were almost upon him. He sat up, first looking directly at Road, then to Tyki.

A new pair of golden, Noah eyes stared up at them. They were beyond beautiful against his pale skin and stark white hair and eyelashes. However, they were dead, unfeeling eyes that sooner belonged to the Dreams or Pleasure than their darling Allen. Even knowing he was a Noah, they never dreamed they would see such eyes on Allen Walker. The white-haired teen rose and turned from the two Noah. Link would find him soon. He opened a door to his Ark. Road and Tyki continued to simply stare at him.

"Well, are you coming? Or would you like to wait around for the Order's babysitter?" Allen asked blandly.

The two Noah grinned and followed after Allen. The three rested in the original piano room. Of course Allen still wasn't able to trust any others with even basic knowledge of the secret piano room of the previous 14th. Allen crashed on the couch. Tyki squeezed in at his side, Road sat on the arm at his head. She leisurely played with his hair, moving his bangs from his forehead.

"You do not have the stigmatta," she observed, as she ran her fingers across his smooth brow. Allen didn't respond.

"You trust us, Shonen?" Tyki queried.

The pale Noah looked at him as if he was out of his mind, looked back to the ceiling, and replied calmly. "Previous 14th a traitor to the Noah. Current 14th a traitor to the Dark Order. Cursed. Not human, Exorcist, or Noah. Thus, hated by all. Is there any point in bothering with trust -or even fear, for that matter- anymore?"

The Dreams and Pleasure grinned like Cheshire cats and proceeded to glomp the Musician: their favorite human, their favorite Exorcist, their favorite Noah.

Road returned to playing with Allen's hair and began mentally designing a room for Allen on the new, black Ark. She was sure she and Tyki could convince the Earl not to try to kill _their_ Allen. 'Oh Allen, Allen, Allen. So much trouble,' she thought.

"Oi, Tyki," Allen said grouchily. The dark male only 'hmmed' in response as he lazily studied Allen's left arm. "My name isn't 'Shonen.' It's _Allen_."

Tyki chuckled. "Whatever you say... _Shonen_."

Allen glared at the older Noah a moment. With a rough shove said Noah found himself on the floor. Tyki looked bewildered. Allen grinned evilly. Road laughed.

"Careful, Tyki-pon. Allen might throw you overboard next time."

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~Haha! Get it? Ark= boat + 'overboard.' God, I'm funny...

~This is the end of this segment of the fic. Partially because that was the end of the song. But I will definitely do a sequel. I would like to put some mutual Tyki/Allen fluff into it, rather than just Tyki's 'affections' for Allen, but I'm having issues figuring out how to do that. **Any suggestions or help is more than welcome.**

~I would also like to thank everyone who put me on their favorite's or story alert list, and even more so those of you who took the time to review. It was very kind and is very encouraging to know that people truly like my writing. Thank you all.

Sincerely,

~Lai Jun Chen


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